The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my
motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me
AT ALL as I came on the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big
enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The
driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked
an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the
BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it
is for BMW drivers only?)
Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph
enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me,
I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the
BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!
Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed
my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my
motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW
behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight
back out behind me!
He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run
him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the
hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the
man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that
my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior
car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be
sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either -
they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3). But the man at the Police Station
said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the
full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take
it off me!
See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a
BMW!"
I was sent this a while back, how relevant now I have one:
